Truth closes the door to a lifetime of pain.

When God showed me what HIS words looked like in action, I found rest for my soul.

My heart sank when I received a text message stating “Wow I can’t believe he just put that comment on Facebook.”

I had taken myself off social media to relieve my anxiety of comparison and rejection of others.

But of course I needed to see this for myself so I reloaded my app just to see the comment. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. It had been weeks since I checked social media to avoid being rejected from friends I had once been so close to. I wanted to cry as I held my phone in my hand. But I wasn’t supposed to see this, or was I?

The constant wondering of where I stood in this friendship had consumed me. I felt the heat rise from my stomach to my face as tears stung my eyes. It was a comment directed straight for my heart. It was meant to hurt me and it did.

It wasn’t just about the comment, a lifetime of rejection had come flooding back to my soul. As I slowly sank into my seat shuffling through my thoughts, I did only what I knew to do. I did some thing I wished I was more conditioned to do.

 I ran to Jesus.

“Jesus I need you.”

I was determined I wasn’t going to let my feelings consume me this time.  It was a trap I refused to fall into this time. At first, I wanted to cry, scream or lash back a nasty comment. This time I handed it to Jesus.

I heard him say, “Hand me your feelings, you are done, you are released from this pain.”

It was finished. Relief was finally flooding my soul as I finally knew where I stood in this relationship.

The unspeakable peace, you know the peace you just can’t put into words? It wasn’t just a reaction to my feelings. This relief was an answered prayer to a prayer I had prayed many times. A situation I didn’t know how to handle. Something that had caused deep pain in my life. How was I to let it go? I finally gave it to him. And he knew just what to do with it. He carried my burden and gave me rest.

“Come to me, all who weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ” Matthew 11: 28-29

In that moment my tears of pain became tears of relief. Truth had closed the door to a lifetime of pain. I knew in that moment God  was showing me what HIS words looked like in action and I had found rest for my soul.