It’s ok to fall apart

I told myself when my son (my last baby) moved out I wouldn’t fall apart. It was a happy time – one we had prepared for his whole life.

But I knew my season was changing, so I began to go over my check list.

Can he wash his own clothes?

Can he cook?

Will he ever come to see me?

Will he stay close to Jesus?

But what I should have asked is …”was I ready?”

I would make myself busy and say things like, “now I can have a clean room for guest or to store my things in”

Or “he’s not far I can be there in a minute”

I wasn’t going to fall apart because this was a happy time. He was leaving on good terms. He is twenty-four and it is time for him to spread his wings. My husband and I had prepared him for such a time as this.

I mean, I only had the right to fall apart if things were bad, right?

Until it happened ….

One day he asked me to sit at his house while he worked so service people could do their jobs, internet, security and deliveries, etc.

While I was sitting, I thought I would continue my mommy duties and straight up after his move. I walked into his spare bedroom to see his clothes hanging in the closet. It was then it hit me, this was really happening and I fell apart. I’m talking ugly cry. I was so glad I was alone to let out all my emotions.

My baby was leaving, my season was changing and now my husband and I had officially earned the title empty nesters. And this was a good thing right?

“A time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance.”
‭‭Ecclesiastes‬ ‭3:4‬ ‭NLT‬‬

That day I learned that it’s ok to fall apart.

Good or bad it’s ok to let out your feelings out. Never shame yourself into thinking your feelings are not real. God is a God of Grace. He had been there every step of the way reminding me of an amazing season that He allowed me to be apart of for almost 30 years.

Even though I knew this day would come, it wasn’t easy for this momma- who had given her whole life to her children- to just let go without a moment to fall apart.

No matter what you are going through God sees. He created our emotions and He is quick to validate them with His grace. Hand over your emotions and feelings to him for such a time as this.

Because it’s ok to fall apart.