It was one of the darkest times of my life when I was battling depression I felt God holding my hand and never letting go. My life was in the midst of many changes and I could not find relief any where I turned. My counselor suggested I get away for a weekend if we could, so my husband was gracious enough to take me to our favorite place in the mountains.
I prayed the darkness would stay behind so that I wouldn’t connect memories of darkness to my favorite place. I wanted so desperately to disconnect the two from each other.I needed a safe place to land, one of peace and rest.
Sleep wasn’t something I was able to do much of during those days. It seems aniexty, fear and depression love to hang tight together keeping me up late and waking me up earlier than I desired. It was then my thoughts worsened and would spiral out of control.
As my eyes opened wide one morning on that weekend gettaway I begged God to just let my mind be still. I pleaded with God….“Please God just let me lay here without thinking”
I needed God to meet me here and replace my fear with good thoughts. I remembered the verse where he promised to take every thought captive.
“We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ,”
2 Corinthians 10:5 ESV
There I lay still as He so graciously replaced my anxious thoughts with one of the sweetest memories from my childhood.
When I was a little girl my grandparents lived at the beach and I blessed to spend every summer with them.
One of my favorite memories was when my grandfather would take me by the hand and throw me into the waves. Saltwater would sting my eyes and nose as I would come up grasping for air only to do it over and over again.
I often wondered why this seemed fun when later my eyes were swollen from rubbing them clean of saltwater. I knew I could do it all over again and I again because I felt safe. Even when I felt I was drowning he never let go of my hand.
I knew in that moment what the Holy Spirit was saying to me…
“There will be many times you will be standing on the shore feeling as if the waves are crashing all around you. You might even think you are even drowning but I will never let go of your hand.”
Perhaps you have been here too my friend?
“For I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, “Fear not, I am the one who helps you.””
Isaiah 41:13 ESV
It was there in that moment I knew He was there, listening to me and hearing my prayer. He met me in my pain.
Let me remind you too. Never will He ever leave you or forsake you He promises. His promises are truth. He is always faithful even when we can’t feel Him.
Jesus wants to meet you in your pain. ❤️
Mary Beth Powers ❤️ author.speaker 